Was My Black Card Just Revoked?

Last week, Ann Coulter decided to explain to the masses how Herman Cain and Republican Blacks "are better than" Liberal, Democrat blacks. Last week, all I could do was shake my head, scream "REALLY?!?" and link to an article that discussed it with more eloquence. This week, I read this article. The article angers me on two levels. One, it undermines the seriousness of sexual harassment by basically saying that young women have used sexual harassment as a tool to get ahead. (I have no words for this right now. Or rather, they are all not very nice words. I'll respond to this part soon). Two, it tries to paint Cain as authentically black and Obama as obviously not. Hanson writes, "Black authenticity, as defined by Southern mannerisms and darker complexion, amplified by conservatism or traditionalism, earns liberal unease...Cain is authentically African-American and of an age to remember the Jim Crow South; Obama, the son of an elite Kenyan and a white graduate student, came of age as a Hawaiian prep-schooler, whose civil-rights credentials are academic". Because Cain is darker and from the South, he is blacker. Because he did not go to prep-school, he is blacker. Because he does not go to Martha's Vineyard, he is blacker. Also, because I am liberal, he makes me feel all funny. Because he is a real black guy. And I'm not.

I'll admit that I take these arguments personally. I'll admit I take them personally because people have alluded to the fact that I am not "authentically black" because of many of the reasons Obama experiences. I have friends, black and white, who have said to me "Oh, but you're not really black". Why have they said this to me? Because I wear scarves, because I did theater, because I run, because I have a diverse group of friends, because I listen to all kinds of music, because I went to boarding school, because my dad and I took trips to Martha's Vineyard, because I date outside my race, because I talk like a "white person", because I went to so many Bar/Bat Mitzvah's growing up...the list goes on.

Most times, I haven't spoken up about this. I let them say it, but one day I pointed out to a friend how hearing that made me feel. The entire world sees me as black. I identify as a black woman. I love being a black woman. I deal with the wonderful things and the not-so-wonderful things that happen to me because I am black. Yet others deny me my race, my identity. So here I am, shopping in JCrew (where black people do not shop...obviously), being told I'm so not a black person because I wear plaid, while the woman working at JCrew asks a white friend if she needs help and not me. It is a messed up place to be in.

I also hate what "you aren't really black" implies. It implies that black people don't do those things. It implies that it would be strange for black people to do those things. Which brings me back to my original point, the article angered me because it implies that there is only one way to be black...and that is Herman Cain. My grandma, who is 92 and from Maryland, isn't really black because she, like many liberals, acknowledges the fact that I am a sexual human being even though I am not married by telling me "Safe sex! Safe sex!" when ending a telephone conversation. My grandfather, who is 97 and from Washington, D.C., isn't really black either because he has a lighter complexion, has straight hair, and voted for Obama last election. Neither is my dad who despite being quite darker than me is from California, went to law school at one of those bourgie East Coast elitist schools, and until recently could be spotted on Martha's Vineyard every August.

Well, damn, thanks for letting me know that my family isn't really black. I'm going to go tell them that we better shape up, move South, get some traditions, and become "authentically black" otherwise we're going to have to turn in our black cards.

For a less personal response to Hanson's article, see here.