The Workshop

Two days of listening. 

Two days of questions.

Two days of scribbles, cross-outs.

Two days of understanding.

Yesterday afternoon, I was asked a question about the end. Really, the table was asked. And we went over it for an hour. Dramaturg, director, actors, lighting designer, and playwright. Debating. Enlightening. Questioning. Struggling. Laughing. As playwright, I knew I could rewrite something to make this debate clear up, but I admitted that this hour long discussion made me not want to do a damn thing. We laughed. Then debated some more. We left without an answer. We left knowing it may change and it may not. We left knowing that may matter and may not matter. We also left knowing that the play has a life after all of this. This play, this production, may look, may read, differently than the future ones. We left knowing that is okay. That is exciting, actually.

In all those moments of debate, I didn't feel that I was being attacked or my play was being attacked. On the contrary, it was a debate to make sure the play didn't lose strength at the end. It was a debate to make sure the characters stayed true. It was a debate to make sure that my play was the best it could be. Of course, a workshop should be this way. And most are. I've just never been in this position.

That was what these past two days have been about. Coming together and making a play the best it could be. My play. How weird is that?

I loved everyone in the room. I loved their personalities, their laughter, their care. I loved their questions, even when they made my brain hurt. I loved their understandings of the characters. I loved how themes I didn't intend came through and how themes I did intend also came through.

I loved it all. Going to a hotel room and editing, rewriting, trying to delicately answer questions that needed  to be answered. Coming in the next day and seeing if those changes landed, if they were strong.

And now I know. I know why I do what I do.

Contemplation. Communication. Creation.

These next few months are going to be fun...