Makes Me Want to Scream

There is a moment in my play that makes me want to scream.

Which is hilarious.

Because I wrote it.

It is a moment that has yielded a lot of questions, revealed different understandings of the play, and has become pivotal in more ways than one. I've been trying to answer some questions about it, I've been trying to make it stronger, I've been wrestling with it.

Which is hilarious.

Because I wrote it almost as an afterthought. It was in draft number #506,709. Not draft #1.

But it stayed, stays, and it has grown and now it has such a life that it complicates my own.

I've sat with it. I've changed things around it. I've read and written long emails about.

And today, I decided to leave it be. Let it settle. Let it sit. To wait for run-throughs to see it. What does it look like outside of my head and on the stage? Will those questions get answered? Do they need to be answered? Are my thoughts about the moment the "right" thoughts?

I don't know. I wait. The moment is so strong I believe it will come off the page and reveal itself to me at some point.

At some point.

So I wait. 

And listen to MJ.

....Until then