On Choosing An Excerpt

I have a little more than 24 hours to choose 15 minutes worth of my play for the staged reading.

I have spent much of the past 24 hours rereading my play, trying to find the perfect selection. It is important to choose the "right" selection for a number of reasons. First, because it may be the only snippet anyone ever hears. Second, because people will hear this and then vote. I want them to want to see and hear more. I want them to be intrigued. I want them to say, "WE MUST VOTE FOR THIS ONE. OH MY GOSH!". Third, because I don't want people to think "OH MY GOSH WHEN WILL THIS ONE BE OVER." So I read and reread. Over and over again. This has caused several issues:

1. I have found typos. Which means people have read my typos. People I don't know. I imagine them sitting there, reading my play, shaking their heads, going "No no no no no...this is not good". I've never been a good proofreader. In my dreams, I pay someone to proofread for me.

2. I have identified the scenes in my play that make me cringe. Or lines that I think are cheesy or something. Each time I read, the more cringe-worthy lines I find. This means that I will think my play is completely cringe-worthy by the end of the night.

3. I have made a selection. Several selections. Then thrown them all out.

4. I have gotten a writing buddy's opinion. Of course her selection was different than mine. I compared selections. Realized why hers may be better. Decided to use hers. Then threw that one out.

5. I've turned on the TV. The Ellen DeGeneres Show is about to come on. I may just watch that instead of making decisions.

6. I have LOL'd at a trailer for the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie.

7. Realized that working from home is such a terrible idea.

8. Focused. Reevaluated. Chose another selection. A combo of other selections. Settled on that one. But refused to send it to the theater company. Because that would make it final. Can't do that. Not yet.

9. Decided to focus on Ellen. She is funny.

10. Realized that I want my blog to sort of sound like a combination of Bossypants and Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns). Basically I want to be funny.

11. I like funny people.

12. Think about how my play isn't funny. People like funny. No way I'll win the contest.

13. The little voice in my head telling me to make a decision gives up. It'll get done.

14. In honor of Ellen, I decide to have an impromptu dance party.

15. Decide to send selection by midnight tonight. Let the procrastination begin.

And......scene.