Running on the Brain

I am going to run a half marathon on Sunday.

I am going to run a half marathon on Sunday.

This mantra is going through my head currently probably for several reasons. First, to remind myself that I have been training for this thing called a half marathon since August and that I am going to run it. Second, to try and keep myself from going crazy. Third, because I've already gone off the deep end.

I have convinced myself that my knee hurts. I am not sure if it really hurts, but I have convinced myself that it does. Yesterday, I convinced myself that I needed a different size running shirt and I needed it immediately. I could not wait until this morning. I had to go then. I'm naturally an anxious person. I also tend to like things that cause anxiety. Like travel. Acting. And now, running.

I'm more anxious than normal because there is not much I can do now. I've done the long runs. I've done the smaller runs during the weeks. I've been drinking water and eating carbs like it is my job. I've picked a mantra (Do or Do Not. There is no try. - thx Yoda). Now it is up to chance and my body. And I don't trust my body. I think my body likes being achy. I think it likes pain. I think it enjoys laughing at me as I train because it knows it is totally going to screw me come game time. I also don't trust my body because it would subsist on apple pie and coffee if it had the choice.

I am worried my knee will mess up and hurt. I am afraid I'll be too cold. Or too hot. That I'll go out too fast or too slow. That my iPod will die. That I'll end up walking. That I'll end up taking a lot longer than my goal. I worry. I worry. I worry.

And I had to share my worry. Because it is dominating my brain right now. I'm obsessed with running. I read running blogs every night. Drink water like it is my job. I picture the start and the end. I dream about it. I'm going to be this way until Sunday. I just wanted to warn you. My characters in my NaNoWriMo novel may become marathoners. Just sayin'.

You in Philly on Sunday? Come watch me run!
Also, this made me laugh. Dear Philadelphia Marathon...